Sunday, June 17, 2012

Omnibus Scandalbus

Recently Canadians have begun to take notice of the Harper Conservatives' tactic of piling dozens or hundreds of pieces of legislation into one supersized bill, so that most of what is in it slips under the radar of public scrutiny and accountability. Much of the content of this legislation goes unnoticed and undebated, as has been well documented in the case of the 2012 omnibus budget bill, for example.

What many of us haven't noticed, unfortunately, is that they have brought this same tactic into play in another sphere of politics. This would be the always fertile branch of creative corruption and scandals.

Rather than throw all their transgressions and wrongdoings into one or two baskets, such as the Liberals or previous Conservative governments have done, so that the opposition can yammer on about them for years or decades, the Harper Cons have perfected an excellent new strategy.

The new strategy is called the "Omnibus Scandalbus". The Omnibus Scandalbus has room for all the Conservative MPs to ride in luxurious comfort (no need to upgrade your seat, Bev Oda!), while reflective windows and tight security protect the MPs from any prying curiosity seekers or journalists.

All questions for any passengers, from accredited stylists and party enthusiasts, are to be submitted a month in advance and will answered by a professional bus driver most knowledgeable in right turns and obstructions.

The Omnibus Scandalbus is a highly efficient means of scandal management pioneered by Harper's brilliant strategists, enabling the Conservative government to ride in air-conditioned comfort, while, all around outside, the cacophony of a supersized gaggle of scandals fades into the innocuous hum of background noise.

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