CERN Creates 10 Trillion Degrees - Heat is on to Find Secretive Inventor, Calvin Q. Calculus

A Co2 Art investigation has learned that Calvin Q. Calculus has been living under an assumed identity in Switzerland for the past several years and has indeed been a key player in the hole mini-big bang experiment at CERN.

Q. Calculus, the inventor of the original portable hole, may be using his position inside the shadowy world of CERN to attempt to gain mastery of the universe by becoming the sole proprietor of mini black hole technology.

The mini-Big Bang experiment at CERN's Large Hadron Collider was successful yesterday, November 7, in reproducing "Big Bang conditions". That is, temperatures of over ten trillion degrees, or, a million times that of the centre of the sun.

"At these temperatures even protons and neutrons, which make up the nuclei of atoms, melt resulting in a hot dense soup of quarks and gluons known as a quark-gluon plasma."

Quarks and gluons are sub-atomic particles - some of the building blocks of matter. In the state known as quark-gluon plasma, they are freed of their attraction to one another. This plasma is believed to have existed just after the Big Bang.


Many have expressed strong reservations about these experiments, whose outcome seems to be less than reliably predictable. In fact, some people suggested that the experiment could go out of control and create mini black holes.

Co2 Art's investigation suggests that Calvin Q. Calculus may have positioned himself to actually divert the black holes at the point of their formation and remove them from the super-collider using his own portable holes.

As we speak, scientists in Switzerland are analyzing the qualities of the quark-gluon plasma, meaning that it will soon be known whether the mini black holes existed. If they did, where are they now? It may very well be that only Calvin C. Calculus knows the answer.